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If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you’ll be unhappy for the rest of your life.” Maslow, Abraham
One of the greatest self-actualizing things we can do is to live a purposeful life. Unfortunately, a lot of us are unable to do it. “How do I know my purpose?” is the question I get asked the most concerning happiness and living a meaningful life.
Start by posing these four questions to gain a better understanding of if you are leading a purposeful life:
- Do I have a fulfilling and/or fascinating job?
Not everyone is naturally exuberant and cheerful when they are happy. For some of us, happiness is more akin to a sedative condition of contentment or fulfillment.
When you’re living with purpose, you should feel either exhilaration or contentment most of the time, regardless of your neurological makeup. You should have far more moments of excitement, wonder, and satisfaction than moments of boredom, annoyance, or hopelessness.
When your body and mind are in balance, you will experience feelings of exhilaration and/or contentment. Some call it “flow,” which is a psychological state of energy, focus, and immersion where you give your whole attention to the work at hand. It is felt by developers as they code, by painters while they paint, by ideators while they brainstorm, and by speakers while they speak.
You experience either excitement, contentment, or both when you’re living with purpose. Asking yourself how you feel most of the time will help you determine whether you’re living a purposeful life rather than what you do most of the time.
- What appears repeatedly in my life?
If we just pay attention, life will reveal our purpose to us. These markers manifest themselves in specific ways: For what reason do people always come to you? What types of tasks are given to you? For what do you continue to volunteer?
Look at those activities and identify a commonality. There are a few things that most of us genuinely like doing.
Each of us, in my opinion, has a purpose that revolves around one of the following four ways of engaging with the world: doing, leading, loving, or learning. These styles actually reflect four straightforward ways that we might comprehend our objective, even if I refer to them as working styles (link to working styles article).
Without a doubt, I am a “Lover.” Helping someone gain new self-awareness and use that knowledge to realize how urgent their life are makes me feel most purposeful. I take pleasure in assisting them in discovering their purpose in life and in becoming happier and more connected.
- Am I helping others with my gifts?
In an excellent conversation, successful advisor and investor Chris Sacca argues that you have to “create value before you ask for value back.” He continues by saying that helping others first, without considering what you would gain in return, is the only way to grow your network in the start-up world (whether you are a deal-seeking investor or a nameless entrepreneur).
The only way we can truly live with purpose is via giving to others. Serving others is the cornerstone of success, but it may also serve as the basis for a fulfilling life.
- Do I elevate others in any way through my work?
You cannot live a purposeful life while demeaning or taking advantage of others for your personal benefit. The nature of human creativity and development is incompatible with that. Although we are wired to interact, humans are also wired to live.
Growing evidence suggests that our capacity for cooperation, play, compromise, and even love helps us develop in adaptive ways.
Only competitive winners prevail, according to antiquated business theories, but an increasing amount of data indicates that this is not the case.
The degree to which you raise those around you determines your purpose. You are probably living inside your mission if you are elevating others and appreciating their efforts.
